Isnin, 17 Januari 2011

your birthday

Hey check this out.




Is your birthday day 1 of the month?



Your Life

You are very curious and dedicative. When you are interested in something,

everything else has to wait. This is your quality. But if you learn to be

more patient and complete what you have started, you will be successful in

life.

Your Love

You believe in love at first sight. You won't wait to learn more about the

person. Vise versa, people who fail to impress you will hardly get a chance

to be your friend. Your emotion is on the extreme. You can only love or

hate, nothing in between and this often shows in your ___expression. Try

not to end a relationship in a quarrel.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 2 of the month?

Your Life

You have great common sense but usually fail to follow through. This might

happens because you are too busy with your mission and shut yourself from

the outside world. You are clever and profound so there's a slight chance

for self-control problem.

Your Love

Your love progress slowly, and quietly. You seem to be contented with your

unrequited love. Your are a romantic and loyal lover.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 3 of the month?

Your Life

Although you are innocent and romantic but your ___expression often mislead

others that you are an active, fun loving kid. Because of your double

personality, it's hard for others to really know the real you. You are

careful and patient.

Your Love

Your love is the greatest which often surprises others. No one can bring

you to light when you are in love. Your confidence might lead you to the

track your parents disagree.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 4 of the month?

Your Life

You usually think before acting which makes your life quite easy. But you

often are the one who give yourself a hard time by being paranoid. People

might not truly understand you but you are really nice to be around. You are

cheerful and friendly.

Your Love

Still water runs deep, that's what you are. You always surprise others with

your new character when you are in love. Your love trap often comes

unexpectedly and your love life is full of surprises.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 5 of the month?

Your Life

Although you are on the quiet side, but you enjoy excitement and changes.

Routine is something you cannot stand. Because of your extreme confidence,

you hardly ask others for opinion. You believe in leading your own life, and

you have got the gift in doing so.

Your Love

Nothing can stop you from making progress in your love life. Once you are

in love, you feel the ownership of your lover. A third party can only makes

your jealousy becomes worse.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 6 of the month?

Your Life

You are generous with people in need, sometimes to an extreme that people

find you nosey. Your hidden courage and dedication often surprise others.

Your imagination is extremely unique.

Your Love

Your love life is on the smooth track because it grows from friendship.

Although you may not make a sweet lover but your sincerity bring happiness

to your couple.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 7 of the month?

Your Life

You are sensitive to changes around you but your feeling is hardly

expressed. You hate exaggerations. Under your quiet personality, you are

rather stubborn and self-centered. These qualities are the force behind your

extreme persistence.

Your Love

You have enormous courage to please your lover. Your relationship often

progress quickly.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 8 of the month?

Your Life

You have pleasant and friendly personality. People look u to your wit and

imagination. You are unpredictable and hardly complete what you started,

which sometimes create negative impact to people around you.

Your Love

Falling in love becomes your routine. Most of the time you are lucky. You

fascinate people with good taste but you never have enough with one.

Although your love progresses very fast, it never lasts.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 9 of the month?

Your Life

You often have problem in promoting yourself, just because you don't know

how to express your true self. On the other hand, you don't really care what

they think. This is why people misunderstand you until they really get a

chance to learn about your pleasant personality.

Opposite sex find you mysterious and worth searching. Your wit is

remarkable but sometimes you are too fast to follow.

Your Love

You won't reveal your feeling even after dreaming about the same guy over

and over. Your first love lasts forever. You are responsible to the feeling

of your lover. The chance to betray your lover is none. You have luck with

children.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 10 of the month?

Your Life

You are very capable. If you are a woman, you have high chance to be a

renowned workingwoman. If you are a man, your path to fame and honor is

near. As an innovator, you are not a good follower. You are good in

implementing your imagination and share it with

others. You are always well dressed.

Your Love

You often lose your love ones from being too jealous. You always feel like

you own the person you fall in love with and that often blows your

relationship.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 11 of the month?

Your Life

You are gracious, elegant and prudent. People admire your qualities and some

even become jealous of you. You are realistic, flexible and adaptable.. You

are remarkably kind and moral person.

Your Love

You are willing to sacrifice yourself for the one you love. Your lover will

always have your gentleness, care and loyalty. You will always be happy to

hand around the one you love.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 12 of the month?

Your Life

You are friendly, humorous and full of energy. You are open-minded and do

not care for minor details. Your weak point is your hot temper.

Your Love

You are willing to start off in one-sided love affairs because you strongly

believe that you will eventually win his/her heart. On the other hand, once

you are together, you always want to do things your way, which is often the

fire starter. You usually run in and out of love quickly.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 13 of the month?

Your Life

You are sincere and easy going. Flattering and charming around are not your

style. You care so much for freedom that often leads you to the difficult

path. Because of your sincerity, most people find you easy to be around

although you are sometimes too straightforward.

Your Love

Your gentleness, care and sincerity make you an attractive person.

Eventhough you don't intend to be charming, but you naturally are,

especially in the eyes of opposite sex.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 14 of the month?

Your Life

You are so confident that sometimes you forget about the people around you.

If you have to be in one of the two teams, you will choose to be in the

winning team. On the other hand, you are kind and caring but above all, you

care for your own benefits. Your imagination is

unique and often gets implemented shortly after it comes across.

Your Love

You will not get soft with the one you don't really like, no matter how hard

he/she tries. But once you feel for someone you have chosen, there's no

getting back.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 15 of the month?

Your Life

You are outgoing and love to be at the center of attention. From the

outside, you may seem flashy, flirty, and tricky but your true self is

strong, full of hope to be the leader. When you

fail to convince someone, you will get frustrated, and perhaps let your

temper shows.

Your Love

You are emotional. Many can win your heart at once, but not for long. This

is why you hardly win a decent relationship.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 16 of the month?

Your Life

You always follow the good and the right instead of listening to your heart.

Another word, you are a perfectionist. You care for every word people say

about you.. You often seen isolated while you are, by nature, curious and a

dreamer who is ready to get over the edge to make

your dream comes true.

Your Love

You often fall in love with a person who is much different from you, in age

and other aspects. Your relationship grows on friendship. Love at fist sight

is not your style.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 17 of the month?

Your Life

You neither want to be interfered nor have the desire to mess with others'

life.. But you are friendly and occasionally a party animal. You are always

in a circle of friends. You often do things in your own way that

occasionally go beyond the acceptable limit. People may find you childish

and not very attractive in that sense.

Your Love

Your fun-loving character attracts opposite sex. Many of those are great.You

often find yourself trapped among a few great guys while you have to choose

only one.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 18 of the month?

Your Life

At first glance, people think you are quiet type of person. Actually you are

cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character only in

good mood. One the other hand, when you are moody, no one would dare to be

around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character, some find

you hard to be around.

Your Love

You hardly show your feeling towards opposite sex no matter how much you

like him/her. Your partner also has similar character so your love affairs

often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your sincerity

makes you very attractive.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 19 of the month?

Your Life

You are great in managing everything in your life and this is how you gain

respect from others. Because of this quality, you sometimes feel that you

are better than the rest. Extreme confidence might lead you to the wrong

path. You are a free bird and want to lead your

own life.

Your Love

You love life is rather different from others'. When you are in love,

nothing can stop you. You may often fight with your partner but, soon after

that, you will make up in a way that surprises others.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 20 of the month?

Your Life

You are prudent, circumspect and take things seriously. Before you make any

move, you will think of a few alternatives that might take a while. You are

patient, imaginative and target oriented. You value friendship more than

anything else.

Your Love

You usually study your partner carefully before making any move. You never

demand anything beyond the natural quality of that person. Your sincerity

doesn't bring excitement in your love life but it brings deeply grown

relationship.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 21 of the month?

Your Life

You are curious and a true follower. You can please someone so much that it

seem like you are trying to charm that person. You hide your disagreement

under your smiling face. This is a charming quality of yours.

Your Love

You are quite unlucky in love. You are loved by someone you don't like while

your dream man is so far away. Your love life is occasionally under

turbulence. Sometimes you don't have the clear view of the guy in your

heart.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 22 of the month?

Your Life

You have the boss character, but not a leader. Most people look up to you

for your capability and confidence although they find you quite stubborn.

You should listen more to others. You are a unique and charming individual.

Your Love

You hardly take the moderate track. You either love or hate someone. Whom

you call friends are the chosen ones. If any of them betray you, you won't

let them get away without having hard time.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 23 of the month?

Your Life

You never live your life in the way others want you to. You are an

independent individual who loves challenges and excitement. You are ready to

face with the result of your decision. You are usually the one your friends

count on.

Your Love

Because you love excitements, you occasionally get involved in forbidden

love affairs. You may fall in love with a married person and no one can stop

you from making progress. You are very charming, although you might not

realize it.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 24 of the month?

Your Life

You are very optimistic and that's why you always enjoy life. You are

gifted in entertaining others. Your friends love and trust you. You'll be

the first they come to when they are in need of someone to speak their

heart out.

Your Love

Sometimes you fall in love just because you want to be in love, not that

you really like that person. You always be seen as a sweet couple but you

can't really get over your love ones from past. Your partner is usually

crazy about you because you are remarkably charming and

romantic.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 25 of the month?

Your Life

You are a warrior. No obstacle can stop you from reaching your goal. You

always keep yourself busy. This quality plus your responsibility will

eventually bring you success.

Your Love

You adore your partner as the number one priority. You value your love one

more than yourself. Your love is the greatest of all and your have potential

to get married young.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 26 of the month?

Your Life

You are always curious and responsive to changes. Routine life is not the

way you choose to live. Travelling is your favorite hobby because excitement

is what you are after.

Your Love

You will not stand being around the one you dislike. Your love comes and

goes quickly. You can be deeply in love but soon after you will be looking

around for the next one.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 27 of the month?

Your Life

You are sensitive and vulnerable. Tears often run down your cheeks even when

the matter is not that bad. This might be the result from being to

pessimistic. You might seem cold on the shell, but your inner self is a kind

loving person.

Your Love

You will be elegantly dressed, no matter how casually dressed your date may

be. You are emanding in love and sometimes to an unacceptable extend.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 28 of the month?

Your Life

You are a capable person but you usually underestimate your own ability.

This is the cause of missing numbers of opportunity to step forward. If you

try to give yourself a chance, you can be successful in life. Try to see

things on the bright side and you will be happier than ever.

Your Love

You are quite unlucky in love. The one in your arm is not the one in your

heart.. Your love has so many ups and downs. You often chicken out before

seeing any progress in love.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 29 of the month?

Your Life

You can trust your sixth sense. Life is exciting so routine job is not your

interest. You have great ideas and fantastic imagination. You often feel

tired of things and people around you.

Your Love

You can tell what's in the mind of another person just from looking into

his/her eyes. You are paranoid and jealous and these are the cause of

fights between you and your lover.

Sometimes the thing you believe in is just your imagination.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 30 of the month?

Your Life

You are always surrounded by a circle of friends. You are friendly and fun

to be with. Though you occasionally disappoint them by being stubborn, but

over all, they love your qualities.

Your Love

You want to have full control of your love and that's not a nice way to

treat your partner. You take your time in saying yes to his wedding proposal

or if you are a man, you will not propose anyone until you are certainly

confident which might take ages.







----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----





Is your birthday day 31 of the month?

Your Life

Your emotion is hard to predict. You can be sad this minute and happy in the

next. People might find it difficult to follow your emotion and understand

you. You tend to take things seriously.

Your Love

You take your time to study a person before falling in love. Once you

decide that he or she is the one, no one can stop you from making progress,


even your partner

Khamis, 13 Januari 2011

pandangan orang luar terhadap johorean

10 Things You Should Know About A True Blue Johorean
1. They end 9 out of 10 sentences with Ekkk...

Ekk ialah trademark orang Johor. Digunakan di hujung SETIAP ayat
menggantikan tanda soal (question mark).
Contoh :-

Ni awak punyer ekk?

Nama awak saper ekk ?

Kenapa kite kaler tak cantik ekk ?

Dan macam-macam ekk lagi.

2. They refer to Johor Bahru as Johor and not JB.
Kalau orang di negeri Johor sebut Johor, it meant Johor Bahru
(JB), the city dan bukan Johor, the state. Biasa digunakan oleh mereka
yang tinggal di luar bandar Johor Baru seperti di Masai-chusettes
umpamanya.

Contoh : Beb, gua nak turun Johor laa. Lu mahu ikut gua tak?

So, if you ARE already in Johor, tak kira di daerah mana - if

the locals kata nak pergi Johor, it means nak ke Johor Bahru. Jangan

pulak buat lawak bongok** berkata, " Eh, lu kan dah ada kat Johor?" Or

worse, jangan memandai nak tambah ekk with that question.

3. They pronounce Muar as MUOR. (kena juih bibir sikit)

In fact you pronounce everything that ends with "AR" as "OR".

Contoh : Aku kena pakai seluor besor untuk main bolor kat Muor

besok. (Aku kena pakai seluar besar nak main bola di Muar besok).


Aku teringat Kakak tegur aku bila aku cakap macam tu. Kenapa

Mama sebut besar, BESOR ? Slipper , SLIPPOR ? Aku tergelak. Aku cuma

speak like that bila berjumpa dengan true blue Johorean aje.


Lapo (lapar), penampor (penampar), ulor (ular), pagor (pagar)
dan lain-lain.


4. They are brash with a CRAZY sense of humour.
Honestly, I belum pernah jumpa orang Johor yang serious or
square to a T. Or cannot take a joke. Walaupun pendiam atau pemalu ,
but their sense of humour boleh tahan gak. Almost all of them (yang aku
jumpa dan kenal lah) are either loyar buruk or bigor **.

Baik di kampung mahu di Bandar. The sense of humour is unique
that I find kadang-kadang orang luar (non-Johorean) agak takut with the
brashness of budak-budak Johor.

(Did you see Majalah 3 the other night - see how Tunku Yem (nama
manja Tunku Mahkota Johor) bercerita pasal anakanda dia Tunku Ismail ?
Haha.. .. that is exactly my point!)

5. Diorang ada ENDUT **.
Kalau tak pernah berendut, sure pernah ada endut or busuk-busuk
pun teringin nak ada endut.

Contoh ayat :

Haa...kau dah ada endut yer ?

Kau pergi berendut kat mana ?

Orang berendut dia pun nak berendut.

6. Diorang Makan Gula Tarik, Sagun, Gula Kandy, Bobotok....
Dah lama aku tak tengok atau makan gula tarik, sagun or kandy.
Ada lagi ke bebenda ni kat Johor ? Aku tak boleh nak describe dengan
teliti these things cos it has been 30 years since I last tasted them.

Seperti Kak P cakap - makanan seperti botok-botok. Kalau out of
Johor, botok-botok dikenali dengan nama PAIS IKAN. Jangan tanya aku how
to describe the ingredients cos aku tak berapa gemar makan sebab guna
banyak sangat daun ( aku tak suka makan sayur - especially ulam).

Yang aku tahu -pakai daun segala daun, termasuk daun betik dan
gunakan kari ikan and balut dengan daun-daun tu dan kukus.

Aku pernah tanya my Dad dulu - kenapa buruk benor nama dia
bebotok.

Then my Dad cerita :

Di zaman dulu ada seorang nenek yang tinggal seorang diri.
Everyday cucu dia akan datang bawak makanan. Nenek ini suka sangat pais
ikan dengan bubur so dia suruh cucu ni bawak tetiap hari. Bila cucu tu
bawak makanan lain, Nenek akan tanya " Mana Bubur Tok? ". Lama-lama

Bubur Tok
jadilah Bebotok - kesan dari cakap cepat-cepat.

Itulah ceritanya. Aku kecik lagi masa my Dad cerita tu. So,
kalau dia kelentong aku - maka kelentonglah cerita bebotok tu. Sekian
adanya.

7. Pernah (or berangan nak) jadi Mat Rock .

Aku rasa sebab kedudukan Johor dekat dengan Singapore, sebab
itulah pengaruh Barat di Malaysia masuk melalui Johor dulu. Itu teori
aku lah. But kalau ikutkan sejarah Johor, Sultan yang mula-mula kawin
dengan Mat Salleh pun Sultan Johor (Almarhum). So, tak heranlah kalau
kumpulan Rock kat Malaysia ini semua ada susur galur dari Johor. Amy,
Zainal Abidin, Nash etc.

Boleh pakai ke teori aku ni? Jangan aku kena pancung dengan
Sultan, dah ler. Ampun Tuanku !

8. Kenduri Kawin Ada Telur Pindang
Telur pindang ialah telur ayam yang direbus dengan segala macam
rempah dan dedaun untuk mendapatkan that special taste. Lepas rebus,
telur akan berwarna cokelat. Both kulit dan isi. I don't like to eat
telur pindang, so I cannot describe the taste. Normally orang buat
telur pindang ni for special occasion, seperti majlis perkahwinan. Zaman
dulu-dulu,

you can tell the social class of the tuan rumah - normally orang
kaya-kaya jer buat telur pindang ni sebab ianya rumit dan makan masa
berjam-jam therefore menggunakan kos yang tinggi.

9. Tidur atas LECA** (rhyme with letak and baca, the non-baku way).

Baju simpan dalam GEROBOK **.

10. They never watch RTM sebab semua cerita dah tengok kat TV
Singapore!

When I was growing up, aku cukup suka tengok TV Singapore sebab
iklan dia semua dari overseas, very menarik. Besides the cerita
yang terkinilah. Yang aku suka ialah iklan jeans Levi's (Let your love
flow), iklan lagu Coke (I'd like to build the world a home), iklan Kodak
(Times of Your Life -Paul Anka). Paling syok ialah masa Christmas, iklan
dan lagu semua best- best. (But itu dulu, sekarang aku rasa semua
rancangan sudah semasa.)

Well, TV Singapore cuma dapat ditengok oleh penduduk JB dan
kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya. As you go further up north (of Johor),
you can see aerial TV semua setinggi pokok kelapa - semata-mata nak
dapatkan siaran from Singapore!

Apa lagi EKK?

Kamus Johor :
Bongok - bodoh
Bigor - gila-gila, contoh :- Apek Senario tu macam budak BIGOR
ekk ?
Endut - makwe/pakwe. Awek/balak. Boifren/girlfren. Boleh
digunakan tanpa mengira jantina.

Berendut - berpasangan.

Pergi berendut - dating.

Epok2/tepung bawang - karipap

Botok-botok, bebotok - sejenis makanan menggunakan ikan,
ditambah memacam dedaun, letak serbuk kari (don't ask me - aku tak reti
buat) dan dibalut dengan daun betik, diikat dengan sebelum dikukus.

Alah, macam Pais Ikan tuh.

Leca - tilam. Normally dibuat sendiri menggunakan kekabu (orang

zaman dulu-dulu semua DIY - tak ada Vono, Slumberland ).

Gerobok, Gobok - cupboard. Almari. Tak kiralah simpan kain baju
ke, simpan pinggan mangkok ke.

Soalan Licik, Jawapan Cerdik

Seorang guru, Cikgu Murni (Umur: 22) menghadapi masalah dengan salah seorang muridnya (Abu). Lalu guru ini bertanya kepada murid tersebut : "Apa sebenarnya masalah awak, Abu?"


Lalu Abu menjawab, "Saya terlalu cerdik untuk berada di darjah 4, kakak saya menduduki UPSR dan saya lebih cerdik dari dia, maka saya seharusnya berada di tempat yang sama juga!".

Cikgu Murni dah tak tertahan. Dia bawa Abu ke pejabat pengetua. Sementara Abu menunggu di ruang tamu, Cikgu Murni terangkan keadaan tersebut kepada pengetua. Pengetua mengatakan yang dia akan berikan ujian kepada Abu dan jika Abu gagal menjawab, maka Abu harus kekal di darjah 3 dan berkelakuan baik. Abu dibawa masuk ke pejabat Pengetua dan Cikgu Murni terangkan pada Abu dan Abu bersetuju untuk ambil ujian yang akan diberikan.

Pengetua: Apa 3 x 3?
Abu: 9

Pengetua: Apa 6 x 6?
Abu: 36

Pengetua terus bertanyakan soalan2 berdasarkan tahap pencapaian murid2 UPSR dan si Abu mampu menjawab tiap soalan yang diberikan. Lalu pengetua memandang Cikgu Murni dan berkata, "Saya rasa murid ini sepatutnya berada di darjah 6", Lalu Cikgu Murni berkata pada pengetua, "Saya ada soalan saya sendiri, boleh tak saya ajukan pada Abu?". Pengetua dan Abu bersetuju.



Cikgu Murni: Apa yang lembu ada 4 di badan, tapi saya cuma ada dua?
Abu: (berfikir) Kaki


Cikgu Murni: Apa yang ada di dalam seluar kamu tapi tidak pada seluar saya?
Abu: Saku


Cikgu Murni: Apa yang bermula dengan huruf "K" akhir dengan "A", ianya berbulu, berbentuk oval, nyaman dan mengandungi lapisan nipis keputihan?
Abu: Kelapa


Cikgu Murni: Apakah yang masuk keras dan berwarna "pink", bila keluar lembik dan melekit?
Mata Pengetua terbuka luas dan sebelum sempat dia menahan, siAbu terus menjawab.
Abu: Gula-gula getah (Bubblegum)


Cikgu Murni: Apa yang mereka lakukan, lelaki secara berdiri, wanita secara duduk dan anjing secara tiga kaki?
Mata Pengetua sekali lagi terbuka sangat2 luas dan sebelum dia sempat hendak menahan si Abu terus menjawab.

Abu: Bersalaman


Cikgu Murni: Baik, sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan berbentuk siapakah saya, okay?
Abu: Baik Cikgu


Cikgu Murni: Awak memasukkan batang kedalam saya. Awak ikat saya untuk saya berdiri. Saya kebasahan sebelum awak.
Pengetua kelihatan resah dengan soalan yang diajukan oleh Cikgu Murni.
Abu: Khemah



Cikgu Murni: Jari memasuki saya. Awak menggesel-gesel saya bila awak teringatkan saya. Lelaki idaman akan mendapat saya dahulu.
Pengetua semakin resah dan tidak selesa. Lantas terus meneguk segelas Nescafe 3in1.
Abu: Cincin perkahwinan
Cikgu Murni: Saya ada bermacam-macam saiz. Bila saya sakit saya akan meleleh. Bila saya keluar, banyak tisu yang akan digunakan. Bila awak hembuskan saya, akan berasa lega.

Sekali lagi pengetua rasa amat resah dengan soalan yang di ajukan oleh Cikgu Murni dan ingin membantah, tapi si Abu mendahuluinya.
Abu: Hidung

Cikgu Murni: Saya batang yang keras. Hujungnya tajam. Saya akan datang dan masuk dengan lajunya.
Abu: Anak panah


Cikgu Murni: Sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan dalam Bahasa Inggeris, okay?
Abu: Okay



Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a 'F' and end in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Abu: Firetruck


Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if you dont get it you have to use your hand.
Abu: Fork



Cikgu Murni: What is it that all men have one of. It's longer on some men than on others, the pope does not use his, and a man gives it to his wife after they are married?
Abu: Surname


Cikgu Murni: What part of the man has no bones but has muscles, lots of veins and loves pumping?
Abu: Heart


Pengetua menghembuskan nafas kelegaan bila mendengar jawapan yang diberikan oleh si Abu, lantas berkata "Baik hantar murid ini ke Universiti Malaya; jawapan yang saya fikirkan semuanya salah".

DRINK WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH

It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. 
Furthermore, scientific tests have proven its value.  We publish below a description of use of water for our readers.

For old and serious diseases, as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had 
been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a hundred percent cure for the following diseases:

· Headache


· Body ache

· heart system

· arthritis

· fast heart beat

· epilepsy

· excess

· fatness

· bronchitis

· asthma

· TB

· Meningitis

· Kidney and Urine diseases

· vomiting gastritis

· diarrhea

· piles

· diabetes

· constipation

· all eye diseases

· womb cancer

· menstrual disorders

· ear nose

· throat diseases

 
METHOD OF TREATMENT
 
 
1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink four glasses of water each of 160 ml.
 
2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minutes.
 
3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
 
4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for two hours.
 
5. Those that are old or sick and are unable to drink four glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to four glasses per day.
 
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and Others can enjoy a healthy life.
 
 
 
The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure main diseases:
 
 
 
1. High Blood Pressure    30 days


2. Gastric                       10 days

3. Diabetes                     30 days

4. Constipation               10 days

5. Cancer                      180 days

6. TB                              90 days



Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment for only 3 days in the first week to be followed by daily treatment.


This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.

Khamis, 6 Januari 2011

Merancang Jantina Bayi

Merancang Jantina Bayi ?


Merancang anak lelaki

Petua yang saya berikan tidak boleh dijamin sepenuhnya keberhasilannya.
Mungkin dengan izin Allah s.w.t. anda akan mencapai 70% kejayaan.


Sebenarnya benih lelaki menjadi penentu jantina bayi kerana benih-benih
tersebut ada yang membawa keromosom X dan Y. Sedangkan telur/benih isteri
hanya membawa keromosm X. Bergantung mana yang bercantum XY (anak
lelaki) XX (anak perempuan).


Ciri-ciri benih lelaki berbeda benih Y lebih cergas dan laju begerak
tetapi lebih cepat mati berbanding dengan benih X yang lambat bergerak tetapi
hidup lebih lama. Benih Y lebih tahan dalam cecair yang beralkali , sedangkan
benih X lebih tahan dalam cecair asid.



Untuk mencuba anak lelaki, ikuti garis panduan berikut:


1. Makanan yang asid seperti buah-buahan limau, nanas, mangga, cuka,
minuman gas perlu dijauhkan selama 2 bulan sebelum mencuba. Makanan laut
adalah digalakkan, zat-zat logam kalsium dan magnesium juga diperlukan.


2. Persetubuhan pada waktu subur iaitu pada hari penetasan telur isteri (
ovulation) adalah penting. Untuk mengetahui tentang kaedah-kaedah mengesan
waktu penetasan telor, sila rujuk laman Kesuburan dan Kemandulan.


3. Menukarkan cecairan faraj kepada beralkali dengan melakukan
douching atau basuh dalam faraj dengan satu alat khas. 20 ml.
Air bikarbonet dimasukkan kedalam faraj lebih kurang 2 jam sebelum mengadakan
persetubuhan. Cecair bikarbonet (sodium bicarbonate ) boleh dibeli dari
farmasi.


4. Kaedah suntikan benih lelaki ( artificial insemination) setelah air
mani suami menjalani proses layering, atau menjalani rawatan
bayi tabung uji (IVF) dan dipilih embryo yang telah disahkan lelaki untuk
dimasukkan kedalam rahim. Kedua-dua kaedah tersebut tidak dibolehkan jika
hanya untuk tujuan mendapatkan anak lelaki. Tetapi diperbolehkan jika sabit
ada penyakit baka bila melahirkan anak perempuan.



Merancang anak perempuan


Kaedah-kaedah yang digunakan adalah sama dari segi prinsipnya. Ikutilah garis
panduan berikut;


1. Digalakkan memakan makanan yang berasid seperti limau, asam , nenas,
cuka, air minuman bergas dan lain lain. Pantang memakan makanan laut.


2. Persetubuhan dilakukan sebelum penetasan telur isteri (ovulation).
Jangan bersetubuh selama 5 hari mulai dari hari ovulation yang
boleh dikesan dengan ujian-ujian subur. Sila rujuk laman Kesuburan dan
Kemandulan


3. Melakukan douching dengan menggunakan cecair asid (very
dilute lactacyd) 2 jam sebelum persetubuhan dilakukan.


Kita hanya merancang, Allah swt yang akan menetukan. Allah yang memberi
rezeki kepada maanusia dan setiap pemberian Allah kita terima dengan syukur
Alhamdulillah, dan ia mengandungi hikmat dan nikmat yang tertentu.


Bila boleh tahu ?


Ujian Ultrasound pada kebiasaannya boleh mengesan jantin bayi dalam umur
kandungan antara 5-6 bulan



Petikan dari :Dr. Hamid Arshad

Kasut tumit tinggi jejas kesuburan wanita

Berdiri tidak seimbang boleh beri kesan kepada organ dalaman




LONDON: Tindakan memakai kasut bertumit tinggi membolehkan seseorang wanita nampak bergaya tetapi ia juga menjejaskan peluang si pemakai untuk menimang anak, mengikut kajian yang disiarkan kelmarin.

Pakar kesihatan dan kecergasan, Dax Moy berkata, gaya berdiri yang tidak seimbang setiap kali memakai kasut bertumit setinggi 12.7 sentimeter memberi kesan kepada organ dalaman dan kesuburan wanita.

"Jika wanita menghargai kesihatan mereka, elakkan dari memakai kasut bertumit tinggi dengan apa cara - ia tidak berbaloi dengan risiko."

Penjualan kasut bertumit tinggi dan tirus mencatat peningkatan mendadak sejak selebriti termasuk Victoria Beckham, Madonna, Kelly Brooke dan Scarlett Johansson, mula memakainya.

Berikutan Minggu Fesyen London yang bermula Selasa ini, model Agensi Miu Miu dan Mourets dijangka menguasai pentas peragaan dengan mengenakan kasut bertumit tinggi.

Namun, Moy sebaliknya memberi amaran, reka bentuk terbaru itu juga boleh membuatkan rambut gugur.

"Kedudukan pinggul cuba ditolak ke depan oleh pemakai membolehkan isi perut bergerak ke depan, menimbulkan keadaan yang ramai wanita menyangka ia adalah 'perut buncit.

"Oleh itu, mereka memampatkan organ dalaman dalam keadaan yang dikenali sebagai visceroptosis. Ia tidak berhenti di situ - leher, belakang, sakit bahu, sakit kepala malah keguguran rambut ialah hasil tidak mempedulikan cara tubuh anda dicipta untuk bekerja," katanya.

Visceroptosis ialah keadaan pernah dideritai wanita memakai korset atau barut dan kini ia tidak lagi menyakitkan pinggang sebaliknya menjadikan kaki sebagai mangsa.

Moy menambah: "Paling penting ialah masalah besar yang berpunca dari pemakaian kasut bertumit tinggi berkaitan dengan kesuburan, kitaran haid dan fungsi bahagian atas tubuh.



FAKTA: Risiko kasut tumit tinggi

  • Jejaskan peluang untuk dapat anak
  • Punca rambut gugur
  • Kasut tumit berukuran 12.7 sentimeter boleh jejaskan organ dalaman dan kesuburan wanita
  • Sebabkan leher, lutut, sendi, tulang belakang, bahu menjadi sakit
  • Boleh sebabkan pening kepala, gangguan haid

Lagu-lagu MP3